Letting Her In
by cw151
Summary: Daniel lets Peggy in, but it isn't easy.
1. Letting Her In

Daniel lowered himself on to the sofa with a sigh. They'd successfully closed yet another case, but the day had involved far too much walking. His thigh was burning with pain, and he didn't even need to look at the skin under his pants to know that there were several sores and welts where his prosthetic leg was attached to the rest of his body. The only thing that made his situation better was the fact that Peggy was there with him. They'd been dating for three months now, and Daniel had promised her a glass of a very special whiskey he had at home several weeks ago. Given that he really hadn't wanted to separate from Peggy yet after they'd gotten off work, he had happily used the promised whiskey as an excuse to invite her to his place.

Careful not to touch or move his throbbing thigh, Daniel leant forward to the small table in front of the sofa to pour them their drinks. Peggy turned on the phonograph with some lively music, and then moved to sit next to him. Her radiant smile as they clinked their glasses made his heart flutter, and he couldn't stop a grin spreading across his face as he took a sip.

Peggy lowered her glass and looked at his prosthetic leg neatly hidden underneath his trousers.

"Don't you want to take it off?" she asked in her typical, matter-of-fact fashion, which caught Daniel completely by surprise. He hadn't said anything about the pain all day, even as it had gotten excruciating in the last few hours. He and Peggy had hardly ever talked about his bad leg before, either, and she'd never even seen his prosthetic. Once, when they were still working under Chief Dooley, he'd mentioned to her that he sometimes experienced phantom pain, and that his prosthetic could on occasion be painful, too, but that was it. Peggy knew, of course, how he'd lost his lower leg in the first place, but even as he'd told her, Daniel had only relayed the most essential details. He didn't like to talk about his bad leg; even though it had been three years by now, he was still struggling with the fact that half of it was just gone. And there wasn't really a point in talking about it, anyway. It just made him feel bad while his partners in conversation got that queasy, pitiful look on their face that betrayed the discomfort they experienced. Daniel didn't want others to pity him. He didn't want any special treatment. He just wanted people to see him as a regular person.

"What? Why?" he replied cautiously.

"Because it looks like you were in a lot of pain throughout the day," Peggy continued in the same practical tone as earlier. "Don't worry, I don't think anyone else noticed. Not everyone is watching you as closely as I am." At that, she shot him a mischievous smile, but quickly got serious again as her voice turned softer.

"Look, I know you don't like to talk about your leg, and I respect that. So I did some research on my own, and I read that walking a lot, amongst other things, can make wearing the prosthetic very painful. And we walked a lot today. Based on how badly my feet are hurting this evening, I can only imagine what your leg must feel like." Peggy looked him straight in the eye and covered his hand with hers.

"This isn't pity. I care about you, Daniel. Very much. And right now I can tell that you are in pain, and I just want to make it stop."

Daniel didn't know what to say. While it didn't quite surprise him that Peggy had acquired the knowledge he hadn't provided her on her own, he was touched that she had done so to understand what he was going through. On top of that, she'd been able to tell just by watching him that his leg was causing him trouble. Daniel couldn't help but feel flattered at that, and his heart jumped a little. He gave her hand a squeeze.

"Thank you," he said. "It does hurt a lot, yes, and I would love to take it off. It'll take a few minutes, though. I'll have to treat the skin on my thigh after I've removed the prosthetic."

He moved to sit up, but Peggy pushed him back against the sofa.

"You don't have to get up, I can bring you whatever you need," she said brightly.

Daniel blushed a little.

"I, erm, I'll have to take my pants off," he said sheepishly, which didn't seem to faze Peggy in the least.

"Well, are you wearing underwear?" she shot back.

"Yes, of course," Daniel replied as his cheeks started to feel flushed.

"Then it shouldn't be a problem. Honestly, Daniel, don't look at me like that. I'm not trying to seduce you. It's just a medical treatment, for Heaven's sake," Peggy said resolutely as she stood up.

Daniel relented but his insides were turning into jelly.

"There, ah, there is a green box on the sideboard in the bathroom. It contains everything I'll need. I'll also need a towel," he said nervously.

"Alright," Peggy said and turned towards the bathroom door. Daniel watched as she strode across the room. She looked very much at ease, and he liked it a lot. As soon as they'd entered his apartment, she'd shed her shoes, leaving her feet only covered by sheer stockings, while her hair was still a bit unkempt from the day's activities. He could definitely get used to Peggy feeling at home in his apartment.

A few seconds later, Peggy was back with the box and towel. Daniel stood and fumbled to open his belt and trousers. When his pants dropped to the floor, leaving him only in his lose boxer shorts, Daniel felt an immediate sense of relief at the cool air touching his irritated skin.

"Could you spread the towel across my seat?" he asked Peggy to distract himself from the fact that he was standing in front of her only in his underwear.

Peggy immediately did as he asked, and Daniel opened the buckles of the prosthetic before lowering himself back down on to the sofa.

Peggy sat next to him, calmly observing every move of his hands as he removed the prosthetic and placed it on to the ground. Just as he had supposed, his thigh looked bad. There were open sores and welts where the prosthetic had rubbed against the skin, resulting in a large part of his thigh being tinged in an angry red.

As he reached for the box, he quickly glanced at Peggy, who was staring at his thigh with a mixture of shock and compassion. Even though he knew that she only meant well and that she cared for him, he suddenly felt completely vulnerable and exposed. This definitely wasn't what he had imagined for their romantic evening. Maybe he could salvage at least some romance if he cut the treatment short.

His train of thought was interrupted by Peggy reaching for the box in his hand.

"May I?" she asked, her eyes slightly glazed.

Her simple request suddenly made Daniel feel incredibly raw. No one besides doctors and nurses had ever touched his stump before, and for some reason, the thought of Peggy doing so scared him. He knew that deep down, most people found his stump not only pitiful but also disgusting, and even though Peggy was not like most people, the idea of her being repulsed by him was unbearable.

"That's alright, you don't have to…" Daniel replied quickly, averting his eyes.

"But I want to. If you let me," Peggy replied calmly.

Daniel didn't think there was a single thing he could deny Peggy if she asked for it. His mind seemed to be screaming in anxiety, frustration, and desperation when he hesitantly nodded and handed her the metal box.

"Thank you," Peggy said sincerely, and Daniel tried to anchor himself in her calm, determined voice and the small smile that had accompanied her last words.

Peggy pulled a cushion from the sofa, placed it on the floor in front of Daniel, and knelt on top of it. Then she expertly disinfected her hands, as Daniel gave her instructions with a shaky voice.

"The cream in the round jar is for the whole skin, and especially for the red patches. The powder is for the sores," he said and set his jaw to stop it from shaking.

Peggy nodded, all-business as ever.

"Do you also cover the sores with gauze?" she asked, holding up a packet of bandages.

Daniel nodded, and Peggy got to work.

He didn't know what to do or where to look. The music was still playing, but it had gotten slower, and Peggy seemed completely focused on the task at hand. Daniel watched as she dabbed iodine and the powder on to his sores, and almost shuddered at the gentleness of her hands. Her touches felt incredibly intimate, but not in an erotic way, despite the fact that his lower body was only covered in boxer shorts. Somehow he felt like he had just handed Peggy his heart made of glass, and she handled it with the outmost care and devotion. Every one of Peggy's contacts with his skin seemed to travel right down to his core, to a part of his soul that he hardly knew himself. It was almost painful, and gave him the feeling that she could destroy him with just a tiny gesture.

But of course she didn't. Peggy only continued to work meticulously and gently, not once glancing up at him. Her features reflected an affectionate determination, and with each ministration, Daniel's heart and mind seemed to calm further. By the time Peggy had taken care of the open sores and began spreading the cream across his thighs, Daniel's breathing had become deep and regular, and the nervousness and fear he'd felt earlier gave way to a warm and fuzzy feeling that spread from his chest to every inch of his body. Peggy's strokes were tender and deliberate, and she paid particular attention to the worst red welts, massaging them gently. When her hands reached the apex of his stump, Daniel's breath hitched ever so slightly, but quickly returned to normal when Peggy just shot him a smile and continued.

Combined with the slow music in the background, the whole situation almost made Daniel sleepy. Fortunately, Peggy was soon done. She wiped her hands on the towel underneath Daniel's legs, and moved back up to the sofa to sit next to him. She was so close that Daniel could feel the heat radiating from her body, and he wrapped his arm around her and pressed a gentle kiss to her lips.

"Thank you," he said earnestly and still a bit shaken from the intimacy of the previous moments.

"No, thank you," Peggy replied as she placed another kiss on to his lips. "Thank you for letting me in. I know this isn't easy for you," she said, her eyes bright.

Daniel didn't try to deny it, so he bowed his head.

"No, it isn't. But your skills as a nurse make it much easier," he joked with a glint in his eye.

Peggy just smiled and settled her head against his shoulder.

"Just don't call me Betty Carver," she retorted.

Later, when Peggy had gone home and Daniel was getting ready for bed, he stared at his stump pensively. Maybe special treatment from _some_ people wasn't that bad at all.


	2. Letting Himself In

Just a short follow-up to the first part, "Letting Her In". This time, it's Daniel's turn to be let in. Except, he ends up letting himself in when Peggy is, well, Peggy.

"Peg, are you okay?" Daniel's concerned voice drifted through the room. He frowned as he seized up his wife on the sofa. She had currently tugged her knees close to her chest and she was reading through some mission reports.

"Yes, Daniel, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be?" she asked a little too cheery as she changed positions again, for the seventh time in the ten minutes that Daniel had been watching her. Now she was lying stretched out on her back as Daniel was standing at the bar separating the living room from the kitchen and was drying off some dishes from dinner.

"For one, you've hardly eaten tonight, even though we had beef roast, your favorite. You've also been much quieter than usual, and since you've sat down, you haven't stopped moving around." He paused. "It looks like you're in pain."

Peggy rolled her eyes.

"Nothing I can't handle," she retorted and turned to lie flat on her stomach.

Daniel looked at her exasperatedly.

"Don't. We promised each other we wouldn't do this anymore," he said flatly as he dropped the tea towel on to the counter and made his way over to her.

"Do what?" Peggy said high-pitched without looking at him. Instead, she bit on the back of the pencil she was holding.

"Shutting each other out," Daniel said when arrived at the sofa.

"Talk to me," he added quietly.

Peggy glanced up to him, trying to appear innocent.

"Honestly, Daniel, I'm fine. It's just a little discomfort, nothing more," she replied as she sat back up and leant against the back of the sofa, this time with her feet on the floor. Daniel lowered himself on to the armchair opposite the sofa.

"Where?" he asked. At that, Peggy blushed.

"My… tummy. There's nothing I can do but wait it out. You know, it's… women's pains," she said, not quite meeting his eyes.

Daniel was surprised to see her so embarrassed at the admittance. Usually, Peggy was quite possibly the most pragmatic person he knew, which extended to each of their physicalities. She was never ashamed of any of the things that made her a woman, or of the things that came with being a woman. She lived every aspect of her femininity unapologetically. Seeing her now was very much unlike her usual self.

At the same time, hearing about the source of Peggy's discomfort suddenly made Daniel aware of the fact that it had never been an issue before in their six months of marriage, or any time before that. Sure, there had been nights when their lovemaking had to be delayed because of it, but as far as he knew, Peggy had never experienced pain as part of it. He cleared his throat.

"Okay, is there _anything_ we can do?" he asked, trying to show her that for him, the fact that she was suffering due to her menstrual cycle didn't make him uncomfortable – if that was why she was acting so shy. And it truly didn't. Periods were clearly an everyday occurrence of human nature like eating, drinking, and headaches, and he really didn't understand the fuss so many people made about them, or rather, about not talking about them.

Peggy sighed.

"No. Well, maybe. No," Peggy replied as she shifted uneasily once again.

Daniel leant forward a little.

"That doesn't sound very convincing. Are you sure there isn't anything I can do?" he asked, searching her face. When Peggy didn't reply and bit her lower lip instead, he tried again.

"Look, I don't know anything about what you're going through. But I _can_ see that you're hurting, and I want to do whatever I can to help make it stop," he said intently, fixing her with a steady gaze.

Peggy slightly tilted her head in submission.

"It usually isn't like this. I usually have painkillers with me, and take them at the first sign. It's always fine in those cases. But today I didn't have any painkillers on me, and when I finally got hold of some, the pain was already full-blown," she said, obviously annoyed with herself. "I'm just hoping it'll get better until tomorrow. I need to be able to focus properly when I'm at work."

So that was it. She was annoyed because in that moment, being a woman actually, _physically_ interfered with her work.

Daniel got up and sat next to her on the couch.

"Well, let's see then if there's anything we can do to make it better until tomorrow," he said as he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close.

"Heat sometimes works," Peggy said as she set her jaw.

"That's a start. We have a hot water bottle, would that help?" Daniel offered.

Peggy shrugged.

"Probably," she said with a sigh. "I should just go to bed. I might be able to sleep it off."

Daniel pressed a kiss to her temple.

"Ok, get ready then. I'll make you a hot water bottle in the meantime," he said with a smile.

A quarter of an hour later, Daniel watched as Peggy turned down their bed while he was brushing his teeth. He noticed that every now and then, Peggy would massage her lower back awkwardly, as far as twisting her arms would allow it.

When she had finally settled on to the bed, the hot water bottle pressed to her abdomen as she lay on her side, Daniel laid down facing her. He reached across her hip, and gently began massaging the small of her back.

Peggy's eyelids lowered.

"You don't have to do that," she protested.

"But I want to," Daniel replied calmly. They lay in silence for a few minutes, until Daniel quietly asked, "What does it feel like?"

Peggy looked up at him for a moment, and then closed her eyes tiredly.

"It's not too bad at first. Just a little twinge. That's when I normally take the painkillers." She wriggled her head a bit to get more comfortable.

"Then it just gets more intense as the day progresses, until it feels as if a Gorilla squeezes your insides. Sometimes, I get a headache, too, or I feel nauseous. Exercise often helps, but it didn't today. And you just can't find a position in which it doesn't hurt. It _feels_ like it does stop for two seconds, but then it's back. Imagine your leg cramping, but you can't stretch it to make it better, because, well, there is no direction that you can pull towards," she explained with a sigh.

Daniel just continued massaging her, his gaze trained onto her tired face. Based on his own experiences with phantom pain he knew how horrible it was if there was nothing you could do to find relief. He just wished that he could do more for Peggy.

"And today you didn't have any painkillers with you?" he asked as his palms drew circles on her back and grazed across the scar that her fall at Roxxon had left her with.

"No, I usually keep some in my desk, but I forgot to refill them after last time," Peggy murmured.

"Well, next time, make sure you check my desk as well. I usually have painkillers in there, too," Daniel said, desperate to just somehow make things better for her. "Is it like that for all women? Because if it is, I'm even more impressed with you all than I already am," he asked, half-joking, half-earnest.

"No, some women are apparently very lucky and hardly feel anything at all. And others have it even worse than me. There was one girl at the Griffiths who got terrible migraines and couldn't eat anything for days, let alone leave her room," Peggy replied patiently. She snuggled a little closer to him so that her forehead was almost touching his chin, and reached behind her to guide his hand to what Daniel assumed was the most helpful part of her back, if massaged.

"…T'this nice," she murmured, and her breathing evened out.

Daniel pressed a lingering kiss to her forehead.

"Anything I can do to help," he replied quietly. "We're in this together, remember?"


End file.
